Seen and Heard in Edmonton

This amazing illustration is the expression of my friend Brittney Le Blanc’s delight in a Venn diagram I made describing us. It made her very happy.

Thus buoyed, I’m going to get even sillier and share a song I wrote a long, long time ago. I’m certainly at risk of losing some serious news chick cred here, but oh well:

Waiting for a Unicorn

Some girls wait for marriage,

Some don’t wait at all,

Some girls wait until they find a stranger dark and tall.

But I’m not like those other girls,

Virginity’s safe with me,

Before I go to bed with Tom, Dick or Fred,

There’s something that I just gotta see.

I’m waiting for a unicorn,

But don’t think I’m so dumb,

‘Cuz I’d rather have a horse with a horn on its head,

Than some horny guy with his fly undone.

I’m waiting for a unicorn,

So if there’s one about,

You can be sure that I’m so pure,

He’s a-gonna seek me out.

You won’t hear me singing,

‘Some day my prince will come.’

He’d just have to turn around,

And go back where he come from.

Now I’ve been quite patient,

Kept my maiden state,

But it’s been a chore and though I’m not a whore,

How long does a girl have to wait?

I’m waiting for a unicorn,

So if he’s here he’s mine,

‘Cuz there’s only so much that a girl can take,

And I don’t wanna wait ’til I’m 79.

I’m waiting for a unicorn,

So if there’s one about,

You can be sure that I’m so pure,

He’s a-gonna seek me out.

And no man’s gonna plow these virginal snows,

Until that unicorn shows.

No, no man’s gonna plow these virginal snows,

Until that unicorn shows.

Despite that resolve, I did not hold out for the unicorn. But I did all right for myself. Those who don’t know me well might think this is some sort of chastity ballad, but really, it was just consolation. The right fella came along eventually. And, thanks to Brit, now I have a unicorn, too.